Who's Day? and Registries

Who’s Day? and Registries

April 6, 2010  |  In Her Shoes

Today I may get a bit wordy! So much I have learned in just a month! To beautify this post are some of my favorite photos from a shoot Courtney Dellafiora did in Las Vegas recently!

IT’S NOT YOUR DAY

What?? But I’m the bride? And I’m pretty sure I tell all of my brides “It’s YOUR day” when they are making tough decision.

Sasha Souza has a great blog post about common misconceptions with weddings and this one stood out because I had never really heard it before. I am posting the full excerpt because I really can’t say it better than she has.

“No, no, no… it’s not. The day is about the joining of two families and not about any one person in particular. It’s the hopes and dreams of the parents, grandparents and the couple.  It’s about taking care of the guests and their experience. By telling couples it’s all about them, we are only creating the monsters you see on Bridezillas who believe that on that one day everybody needs to do what they say. It’s a childlike mentality and adults are getting married. If you’re old enough to get married, you’re old enough not to be babysat. I’m not a babysitter, I’m a professional person doing a professional job for you and you have to take some of the responsibility as well – it’s about the guests who are coming to your wedding and showing them a good time and showcasing your individuality. It’s not about being a princess on your wedding day. Grow up.”

Which leads me to something I feel pretty strongly about…

FIGURE OUT HOW TO INCORPORATE FAMILY & FRIENDS IN PROCESS

– Take grandma or your future mother-in-law to see the gown you’ve chosen. I invited both with me to go see the gown and it was such a fun trip and both made sure to let me know how honored they were that I did so.

– Include parents in your tasting. Parents are footing a pretty big party bill. They want to know you value their opinion. What bigger way than with one of the biggest expenses? It will also give you a chance to discuss details they may not be as involved in. Tyler and I had a tasting with my parents, his parents and my sister and it really was great to have just another opportunity for our families to hang out together.

– Have your bridesmaids help pick out attire and accessories. Going shopping with your girls? What’s not fun about that? This is a no-brainer. You value their fashion advice and may need a second opinion on your over-the-top jewelry.

– Invite your best friends to tastes cakes. For my baker, I opted to take home samples instead of trying them there. (Who are we kidding, I already knew every flavor but wanted the groom to taste too.) I ended up taking them to Tyler’s office. We sat outside for a little afternoon treat and talked about the wedding. It was so really nice but afterward, I thought it would have been fun to invite the maid of honor and best man over for dinner with us and serve the samples for dessert and make a tasting party out of it. Remind them of how honored you are to have them a part of your day. This little gesture will go a long way.

REGISTRY

We were warned and warned and warned that this experience would be DREADFUL!! I’ve also heard so many stories from brides who say they just picked a bunch of mish-mashed items not knowing what they needed, what colors or decor they wanted, etc. Here is what I/we did:

Made a list of everything we needed. Checked them off as we went through the stores.

Picked room colors ahead of time which helped us steer clear of things that just wouldn’t work.

Broke it up with lunch with friends in between. Gotta stay hydrated. It really is a marathon.

We made it through alive. By the end of the day we were both exhausted but no serious arguments or bruised feelings.

But what’s the best advice I can give about registries?

Register at myregistry.com!! If you don’t live in a big city like New York or L.A. registries don’t always consist of Pottery Barn, Crate & Barrel or Williams Sonoma. It’s Target, Bed, Bath & Beyond and MAYBE Dillards. But what if you don’t find a bedding set you like at one of these stores? You NEED bedding. Enter Myregistry.com. Here’s how it works:

1. Add bookmark to your tool bar (on a Mac).

2. Go shopping online (i.e. Anthropologie, CB2, Z Gallerie, Best Buy, skies the limit)

3. Go to the product you want.

4. Click on the bookmark.

5. Add to registry.

AMAZING!!

Problems this solves:

1. I had been eyeing some bedding from West Elm but knew registering wasn’t a possibility.

2. Some of our guest don’t live near these stores so we added a few necessities from Wal-Mart

3. Bed, Bath & Beyond is selling that mixer for $249 and Amazon has the same product for $199? You just saved your guest some money!



2 Comments


  1. you also might like http://www.depositagift.com

    it’s a cash gift registry that we’re using for our wedding. it’s cute, fun and simple. we love it and so do our guests. which is a good thing b/c i wasn’t sure how it would go over. thankfully they seem to be getting a kick out of contributing to our new home registry.

  2. Love what you say here about making your wedding inclusive, and not just about the bride. Well done post!

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