Putting Out Fires

March 24, 2011  |  Wedding Tips

In case you’ve never heard this before, I’ll be there bearer of bad news. Something won’t go according to plan on your wedding day. Now breathe…There is no reason to panic.

The big question is: HOW WILL YOU HANDLE IT?

This fact alone dictates whether your wedding day will be the happiest of days or  a let down. Not what happens.

Here are a few scenarios of problems you could face:

FAMILY DRAMA – everyone has some. It could be with your mother or new-in-laws, your critical uncle or overbearing sister.

If it’s still in the planning process, the best way to handle this is to hear them out calmly BUT in the end make your own decisions. Keep in mind, if it’s a small battle, letting your MIL pick the song the parents come down the aisle to is small potatoes. Know when to hold your ground and when to appease people. In the case of family, you will be seeing these people long after your tantrum about not wanting a blue pin for the sign in table. Pick your battles. And always to do so respectfully.

If it’s the wedding day, do what you can to create a buffer. I’ve told a few of my clients “Let me know if I need to come pull someone out of the room.” I’ll be the bad guy if it means the bride gets to have a wedding not filled with drama. My heart breaks when I hear stories of outrageous family problems on the wedding day. Surround yourself with people you love and people that can keep you calm.

A note to family members: Keep in mind the power you have in making the wedding day a magical one or stressful one. It boggles my mind sometimes what relatives will nickpick on the wedding day TO THE BRIDE. It’s her wedding day! Don’t add any unneccesary stress about something that most of the time, doesn’t even matter to the bride. It’s incredibly selfish and rude to want something badly enough to be willing to ruin the bride’s (and consequentially the groom’s) wedding day.

VENDOR MISHAP – everyone has some of these too!

If it’s still the planning process, make sure both parties involved share the same expectations. Your shade of purple may not be what the florist is picturing. Your idea of heavy weight paper for your stationery may not be their definition. Ironing these things out ahead of time should help. Also, (as mentioned this week) make sure to give your vendor permission to do their best. If the poppies you wanted, don’t come in in the right shade, she can use a similar flower instead to get the same affect instead of throwing off the whole color scheme. Nature is unpredictable, so a rigid approach, may have the opposite affect that you want.

If it’s the wedding day, have someone in charge of making sure everything goes according to plan, and if it doesn’t, they can fix it without you every hearing about it. As I’ve said, some things on your wedding day won’t go according to plan. The venue may be short a table they promised. A bridesmaid may leave her bouquet at the house. The weather may change your ceremony. You need someone there who can act fast to make these little issues unnoticeable. For some  weddings, I put out more fires than others. On these days, I wonder what would have happened if they didn’t hire a wedding planner. *HOPPING ON SOAPBOX* Brides, if you are spending 15, 20, or 40 thousand dollars on your wedding day, make the decision to invest 1 thousand of that to make sure all those details you spent so much on are actually executed on the wedding day. I don’t recommend the full-service planning for every bride but I do recommend the day-of package because, even though you may be able to redo invitations, your hair trial, move your venue location or switch your DJ after you heard him botch another wedding, you can’t redo your wedding day or your memories. *HOPPING OFF SOAPBOX* : )

A note to vendors: If you know before the wedding day, you can’t meet what you guaranteed, tell them before the wedding day. If they know ahead of time, they can adjust to the idea or a backup plan they are comfortable with can be created. Don’t hope they just won’t notice, if it’s big. Obviously, don’t cause panic if you are a photographer and had to switch your second shooter from the person you mentioned to the client. This normally doesn’t worry the bride.

Brides, I hope these tips have been helpful! Tomorrow, I’ll give a few tips on preparing for the wedding day.



1 Comment


  1. Love this! GREAT information and I heart your SOAPBOX.

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