Perspective & Bridesmaids

Perspective & Bridesmaids

March 30, 2010  |  In Her Shoes

As a wedding planner and invitation designer, I work with brides on most areas of planning but there are a few things they tackle on their own for the most part. Being a bride has given me more insight into there areas and shown me more ways I can help my clients as well as TWS readers. First up?

When you get engaged, the pressure is almost immediate.

Wow! Now I know why my brides are relieved to have someone to pass the stress onto. This is probably one of the things I love most about my job, hearing a bride or MOB say they felt there shoulders lightened the second they left our first meeting. Luckily for me, I am not under quite that type of stress. I know what the steps are, have vendors I trust and ideas of what to do. HOWEVER, the stress to pull together something that will blow minds (Let’s be honest, I am wedding planner. Expectations are high.) was instant. Time to step back and remember why this is happening in the first place.

Slow down.

When I first opened the doors of the Opera House and realized Tyler was proposing, I walked slowly toward to the stage. It’s like I was telling myself “Soak it in, soak it in!” I was proud of myself for practicing exactly what I preach to my brides. We took the entire day in. Enjoyed the day with friends and family and talked a few (very few) details about the wedding. At the end of the day with friends and family, we just sat and talked and shared our excitement. I don’t feel like it went by in the blink of an eye. I am hoping and praying I will keep that same attitude throughout this process and the wedding day and just enjoy every moment.

It’s just one day.

It doesn’t take long to find something that just isn’t going to go the way you had planned. That’s when I have to remind myself, it is the start not the end. It’s the beginning of a very happy life I will share with my husband, not just a fun party.

Have a designated time to talk about the wedding.

I am still working on this one, but I think it is really important to designate times or days to discuss wedding stuff with Tyler and my parents. In my experience during an engagement even the most perfect mother-daughter duos will butt heads. Avoiding daily disagreements or weekly meltdowns to keep my sanity? Yes please!

Remember I am not the center of the universe.

It’s too easy to jump into “everything is about MEEEE!” mode. I mean, everyone is genuinely excited and interested in hearing all about our wedding. I feel it creep up and the best way to keep this in check is by making sure I’m enjoying everyday life with people. Don’t forget to ask about how other’s people lives are going. They may be going through just as big of changes (i.e. like buying their first home, having their first child, etc.)

Will you be my bridesmaid?

I always knew I wanted to ask my bridesmaids to be a part of my wedding in a special way. I am a big believer in wanting this entire experience to be enjoyable for not only me and Tyler but also the other people we are sharing it with. So how could I make them feel honored to be a bridesmaid?

I sent each a special note to ask them. Handwritten notes go a long way, but I thought it would be fun to get them printed and “official” looking. The response I got back was overwhelming! I am so glad I got to make them feel as special as they have made me feel. I’ve even decided to throw this lagniappe (Cajun for “a little something extra”) service into my full-service package so other brides can do the same for their bridesmaids.

Crunching the numbers

First thing I learned? Having a small wedding makes creating a guest list much simpler. Isn’t that backwards? Nope. If you plan a small wedding, you won’t agonize over whether someone should be invited. Or rack your brain trying to think of every single people you know in fear of forgetting them. They’re either close to you or more of an acquaintance. People are a bit more sensitive when they are left off a guest list of 300 instead of 75.

The 2010 way to create a guest list

Tyler and I tackled our portion of the guest list in an 1 1/2 hours. How? I looked through my facebook, Twitter, phone contacts, etc. and added the guests to the new google doc guest list template by Style Me Pretty and Michelle Rago. (It’s super easy to use and you can even share the list with parents!!) After I finished my portion, I got on skype with Tyler and went through each of his contacts and added them to the list. We’re adding a few other guests here and there, but for the most part, but this system was a great way to take care of the bulk of our list.

What did you learn as bride that you’d like to share with new brides-to-be?


  1. in her shoes post are my fav!!! i’m glad you are not only enjoying the process but learning a few things along the way. 🙂

  2. Where the heck were you when I was planning my wedding?? (Answer: in highschool) Really great tips! LOVE your theory on the guest list and how quickly you put yours together. Making the list can be the source of many arguments. I really love what you did for your bridesmaids and how awesome that you’re going to offer it to your brides! Awesome things from you as usual. 🙂

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